Tooth Tales Continued

After the hygenist finished up came the part I was really looking forward to...meeting my new dentist. So far the fellow had been somewhat elusive, considering that the office is on the smaller side and there's really only so many places he could be. While in the waiting area I thought I had glimpsed him, but he had a mask over the bottom half of his face, so I didn't really get a good look. Anyway...it's important to like the person who puts his hands in your mouth for a living, so perhaps you can understand why I was anticipating making his acquaintance.

So finally he walks in. Wow. This guy is young. Like I'm sizing him up to be maybe 26 years old just out of dental school young. This instantly conjures up some unusual and conflicting feelings in me. Well, he's probably not out of his 20's. This introduces the awkward feeling of peerdom. I like to know my dentists have some years under their belt...not just for ease of the professional relationship, but also because that probably means they've been around the block a few times and know their shite. But, okay, whatever. Roll with it.

It seemed as though Mr. Young Dentist DDS was going to dispense mostly with formalities and get straight down to business. Hold yer horses. I made sure I properly shook his hand and had the opportunity to look him in the eye... little does he know just how much I'm already feeling him out. His small talk skills weren't bad. Small talk is the kind of thing that you don't realize is important until you meet someone who has no talent in that department at all. Then you miss it.

So I obligingly opened wide...and he prodded my molars with his little metal tools (ping, ping)...and I took the opportunity to observe that he had very beautiful brown eyes... then he and the hygenist reviewed my x-rays in an obnoxiously low tone, pointing at various teeth and nodding and saying things under their breath...

Verdict: I have two small cavities between two bottom molars. I should probably have them filled. Also, I should strongly consider having my wisdom teeth out. And floss.

So, my sister and I walked away from that appointment ("I loathe youthful dentists!") with sore gums, and I with sore gums and a sore ego. That checkup was a bit of a slap on the hand. So, I went out and bought an electric toothbrush (which I love btw, why didn't I make the change to one of these sooner?) and some floss picks, which I don't like, but which are supposed to help me get between those back few teeth more effectively. Yeah, as soon as that bag is through I'm not buying any more.

Adventures in Dental Hygiene

Let's make tonight a double feature, to make up a little lost time. (Tonight has turned into tomorrow, I see.) The evening's second entry, be the reader warned, is a rather personal journey into my own mouth. Please be advised that I spare no details. Read on or stop short accordingly.

Well, the padre scheduled me a dental checkup for this Christmas break, because what I actually wanted for Christmas was all my teeth, and not just my two front ones. Obligingly, my daddy booked me a gig with our new family dentist. One of the benefits of this situation is that the office is right in town (I live in a small town of about 6,000 people). Before, we had to drive 35 minutes to get up-to-speed on our pearly whites. No longer, my friends. Now I travel but a mere 5 minutes for the unparalleled pleasure of opening wide under the torture devices of a smiling hygenist.

My very favorite thing about dental hygenists is how nice they are. I don't think I've ever met one who wasn't just so sickeningly sweet. Think about it....have you? They just bubble and chatter while they sit there with their metal prongs and suction catheters in your mouth, and all you can do is grunt or "aaah haah" at their inane little stories...hoping all the while you don't squirt them with saliva or inadvertently gag on your spit...or some other equally charming thing. Usually while sitting there I think of witty interjections that might or might not have been appropriate to employ, had I the power of speech at that moment. This entertains me a fair bit...since really, the only thing you can do is stare up at the light above you, and look at all the little holes in the ceiling tiles. Intriguing.

So, it had been two years since I'd been to my last dentist, a really nice early 40's guy who was just starting a family and all excited about having his first kid. That was two years ago. Anyway, he was a pediatric dentist, or whatever they call them. Beside the point. Point actually being, I had some tartar apparently. Horrible! Tartar is something that old people get. And it's supposed to be really obvious, and nasty, and yellow. Right? Maybe not, because apparently I had some. Also, the hygenist told me, my wisdom teeth were not fully erupted, and my gums were showing some inflammation. She proceeded to take a metal tool to my teeth and vigorously scrape up and down along the gum line, all over my mouth. I was picturing in my mind gargantuan scrapes and gashes being ground into my enamel...that's what this felt like. Like someone taking a wire brush to the inside of your mouth. But apparently, this was just the ritual necessary to remove The Tartar. So be it. But for the record, I hate the taste of blood.

.....To be continued.

Ghost Town

A movie I absolutely love. My younger sister spotted it in a drugstore on DVD for $5. I did a little happy dance, snatched it up, and bought it. (Maybe not in that order). Ricky Gervais is just perfectly cast, and Téa Leoni likewise. I also love the Hindu coworker. Priceless. The movie is full of fun little bits of dry humor which are fabulous to quote in everyday life ("that's it, this must be heaven. I've died and gone to heaven - no can't be, you're here"). It pulls off the feat of being very funny and very touching, something i find less and less in films these days. One of my favorite moments is when Gwen delivers this line to the somber Dr. Pincus: "We just get the one life, you know. Just one. You can't live someone else's or think it's more important just because it's more dramatic. What happens matters. May be only to us, but it matters."

count 'em

Your blessings. They are more numerous than you can imagine.

For starters, today: Freedom. Faith. A warm home. People who love me. Health. Education. Many little luxuries. Being safe. Enough food. Clean water to drink and use. Thank you God. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Reality check

The following is an excerpt from NAMI's website (National Alliance for the Mentally Ill).

---

The Washington Post reports that the 2009 Army suicide rate is expected top last year's record high.

As of Nov. 16, 140 soldiers on active duty and 71 soldiers not on active duty were thought to have died by suicide. The monthly suicide rate has generally declined since March, which may be in part the result of a campaign to engage more Army leaders in suicide prevention efforts.

-----

I never gave pause to think of what the suicide rate in the military might be. I suppose I am not surprised that a significant number take their lives each year, thinking of what the horrors of war can do to the human psyche.

In other news, Amanda Knox and her Italian then-boyfriend were found guilty on Thursday of murdering that British exchange student, Meridith Kercher. They maintain their innocence, and I withhold any opinion on their veracity or lack thereof. Maybe they did it, maybe they didn't. Point being, someone took this woman's life, and when any life is lost it is a lamentable thing. I am always amazed at the depths to which the human person can sink, and the darkness we are capable of. My heart also hurts for the millions of young adults who live in ways similar to how I can only assume those students were living. To allow many beautiful mysteries to be unveiled so easily, and by people who don't even care in the end.

I want more from life than that.

Giving thanks and taking a break

Well, I'm home. It is good to be home. Rachel was in a really really good mood yesterday for the ride, which was awesome. As we were driving through Empire (where I got tagged with a 68-in-a-40 last month), our dialogue goes like this...

Me: "Hey look, we're driving through Empire...."

Rachel: "...................... . . . . LET'S GO 80!!!!"

It made my day.

Also we had a good laugh when I told the turnpike booth man to "Take a good Thanksgiving", which I had to think about for awhile, but is apparently a combination of "Take care" and "Have a good Thanksgiving". LOVE IT when I do that!

Now, I'm going to kill some homework before tomorrow. I just keep reminding myself that, Lord willing, in less than seven months or so I will have my bachelor's, be done with homework indefinitely, and be an RN working for a Magnet hospital.

But Your plan, Lord. Not mine.

It's been/one week since i've blogged on here/

Thank you, Dad, for teaching me how to take care of cars, so that a flat tire is easily handled and not a source of panic! That was Wednesday.

Today was Saturday. After work, and Lord's Day (which was blessed), I went to vigil Mass off campus. After dropping off my sister and her roommate, who accompanied me, I tied up a few loose ends on campus and then headed out. I didn't want to go home, though, and I had a little time to kill before a birthday party/movie night. Also, from nowhere, I found myself being seized by an annoying fit of melancholy. So I sulked around Kroger for a half hour or so, looking at scented candles (which are expensive..) and teddy bears and flowers, and frozen twin packs of little cornish game hens. Those little guys are just so cute. But I really honestly didn't need any more food in my house. I cooked enough food for the whole week just yesterday, successfully using up two of the three bunches of fresh parsely that I found myself with (a story in itself). I did, however, find Quaker Oatmeal Squares on sale for 1.50 a box. Major score.

The movie night turned out to be a film called "Forever Strong", which was about rugby. I actually enjoyed it, although I think it may have been mostly because of the people I was watching it with. I LOVE watching movies with McDevitt because he and I have a very similar sense of humor, and share a fondness for MST3K-style running commentary. Unfortunately, it makes some other people absolutely nuts. I am definitely a talking-while-watching-movies person. I don't take my cinema that seriously folks.  

So, there are many blessings to be grateful for tonight. And there are little things that tweak at my heart from time to time. Welcome to life. 

idiosyncratic

Today I noticed something about myself. I've noticed this before, but I guess I don't really think anything of it. Well, today I noticed it again.

Whenever I am coming home to my house off campus, and i have a lot of stuff with me, I nearly ALWAYS try to take it all into the house in one trip, no matter how much stuff I have. This usually ends up with me dropping stuff, not being able to pick it back up, dumping things accidentally out of my bags, spilling things, wrestling with keys and car doors a whole lot more than if I just made two trips to split up the stuff. But no.

For example, about 15 minutes ago I walked into my house laden with my XXL capacity adidas bookbag, my gym bag with running shoes tied to the strap, my guitar, my purse, two cookbooks, and a small plastic tupperware. And this is a fairly light night.

Mal-Wart

How dare they be out of pumpkin carving kits! If anyone loses a finger today, it's their fault.

Yellow leaves are the best leaves.

I am a compliant ex-resident student of Franciscan University but some dorm rules make NO SENSE

Scene: 8:1o pm, St. Thomas More Hall. Third floor. Elevator wing. 

Culprits: Sarah, talking. Kristin, talking, laughing. Me, painting my toes. Sarah, teaching some guitar chords to a freshman. Freshman, learning said guitar chords.

Crime: sitting in the hall, being "a fire hazard". 

I would like to point out that if there were to be a fire in St. Thomas More Hall just then, we would definitely be the first ones out. We are already in the hallway.

Dear RAs,

 There are bigger problems in your residence halls than girls having fun and building community outside their rooms.

Sincerely,

 Cecilia

The paper elephant in the room

So.....why is it that when there is something important that needs to be done, but I don't want to do it......I do everything else that I possibly can.......just so I don't have to do that other thing.....this is so counter-intuitive, I'm wasting time, putting the time crunch on later, adding to the stress, what the heck!!

In the meantime, I'll listen to John Legend and rock out while drinking this Organic Golden Ginger tea. 

Humph.

Maybe it's the jungle of midterms I have just emerged from. Maybe it's knowing that the work continues this week. Maybe it's just me. But I am finding myself unusually irritated by things today...

1) Grammatical Errors In Test Questions.

HELLO, YOU ARE A COLLEGE PROFESSOR WITH MULTIPLE DEGREES, PLEASE REALIZE THAT THE POSSESSIVE FORM OF "IT" DOES NOT REQUIRE AN APOSTROPHE. I actually think I would have let this slide, except for the fact that I had to look at this horrible abuse of punctuation three times in a row, and in the same question!

2) Distractions During Tests (Aka My Brain).

Hmmm, I probably should have eaten breakfast. My tea is getting cold. I have a date at 4:30 today, hope I don't forget because I didn't write it in my calendar. Probably because I don't know where my calendar is. Did I tell Rachel I would talk to her last night, or tonight? I know exactly what I'm going to dress up as for Kelli's birthday bash: Bridezilla. I just need to get some tulle for a veil though. That sucks, I don't want to spend money. Would anyone I know have something like a veil I could use?

3) Most Loud People.

They are vexatious to the spirit, as someone wise once said.

4) Being Wrong When I Was So Sure I Was Right.

A blow to my good old pride.

5) Cold Hands. Where Are My Awesome Rainbow-Colored Mittens?

Love it!

I love it, love it, love it when I see gfs and bfs going for a jog together. To me, it says "I care about all aspects of you - let's strive for health of mind, spirit AND body together!" We all know those couples who are eternally praying together in the Port. We all know those couples who are eternally studying together (.............?) in the common rooms. Fewer and golden are those couples who practice physical wellness together!

"For you have been bought at a price...therefore glorify God in your body". -1 cor. 6:20

I saw Liz Wilbur!

Liz Wilber came to visit! It was super to see her...we had a really good conversation. Neither of us could believe that we had only been talking for an hour; definitely felt like an hour and a half long conversation. We picked right back up like it had just been yesterday we'd last chatted. I love you Liz!

So, I am super tired right now. Explain THAT to my body...seriously, I got like seven hours of sleep last night, that should be good enough. There is something more or less unpleasant about midterms. Honestly, explain to me the academic benefit of giving students papers and cumulative tests in all their classes....AT THE SAME TIME.

On the upside, I really like Cinnamon Toast Crunch cereal bars. They are really cinnamony and crunchy. I like things that crunch. But not chips.

Pax, everyone. Jesus Christ has won the victory.

Mi vida no es nada sin Ti

On this chilly, silver fall morning, I am revisiting some sultry spanish music that I haven't really endulged in since freshman year, I think......mmmmmmm. Combined with the bowl of shredded wheat and perfect banana I had, and the fresh, kind of salty feeling of just having cried a great deal over beautiful letters from some dear friends..........encapsulates this a.m. for me.

Two days ago when I was in the library, I was unfortunate enough to spill three quarters of the contents of my water bottle (..which was water..) all over my section of the research station in the library. Within thirty seconds there were three guys with stacks of paper towels helping to clean it up. Thank you, men of Franciscan. 

Mondays don't have to be bad

Right now it is so beautiful outside. It is so beautiful. It mystifies me why I am sitting here writing this blog entry, and not being outside. I'm going running with Grace in like 40 minutes though, so that will be glorious. Thank the Lord. It is fall.

I spent this past weekend at home with my family. My first birthday present was a rather large lesson in humility, in the form of an equally large speeding ticket......swell....there goes my perfect record. This in all seriousness was the very first time I'd ever been pulled over since getting my license almost five years ago. ANYWAY. I'm so over that! It was bad luck...the guy in front of me was going at least that fast.

Anyhow despite that opening, and the fact that it rained most of the weekend, I had a good time. I always love seeing my little brothers, who are up to their usual...tearing around the house and taking up the whole futon room with their legos. It was great to see mom and dad as well. Also saw my cousin and aunt, who came up on Saturday. Mycousin got me a cute little bag of gifts, amonst which was a 3 disc set of the first Die Hard movies!

And when I got back to school the surprises didn't stop. Seriously...

So thanks everybody, it was really wonderful. Now I've got to organize my life and start getting some stuff done. It's an academic jungle safari coming up this week!

Lillywhite

This post is titled in honor of Cat Stevens. 

Sometimes, life comes at you fast. You are forced into sitting up straight and asking yourself honestly, just what am I doing with my life...why am I wasting my time selfishly, idly...why aren't I  really, really listening for the voice of God, and why am I hesitant to hand over my plans, my dreams, in exchange for His? And why does it take something beyond my control, like physical suffering, to bring me back to the ultimate question (that I should already be answering, every day)..."What is my place in your plan, Lord?" 

My joy is in pursuit of this. 

Pray for me!

Today, I am not a fan of refrigerators so cold that they freeze your salad. Many things are delicious frozen.....ice cream, granita, freezie-pops... mushrooms and spinach are not.

Yesterday, our flag football team, the Super Sweet Show Ponies, won our season opener against The Abusement Park. It was my first game ever, and I did enjoy it, even though my position (O-line) entails mostly running into people and getting a lot of bruises... I have a riDIculously nasty shin bruise, but as long as it's not like a fracture or anything I don't care that much.

Right now, I'm watching my fish Marvin and Merlin swim little circles in their fishbowl and studying a little Med/Surg nursing...ah, I love my life.

Didn't think I'd be doing this...

So since getting back to school and moving into my house, i'm realizing more and more how difficult it is to buy food and cook for just one person...I have eaten out more in the past week than I have for the past three months all together. I've known some people who lived on their own, and I would give them a hard time about not cooking for themselves more...well, never again. I have seen the error of my ways! Now, this doesn't mean that I'm NOT going to cook for myself. Because I will not be daunted...

Also, I've watched in these past few days the first 17 or so episodes of a japanese cartoon series called Death Note....I'm hooked. Didn' see THAT coming.

Goodbye, July

I'm not so much happy to see July gone as I am glad to see August come. August means three things:

1) I get to participate in the wedding of a very dear friend, my household sister Mary Droz (soon to be Mary George!). This entails carpooling across several states with a few other household sisters, going to a bachelorette party, sleeping over at Mary's house for several nights, rehearsing with the organist, and singing for the wedding! So much excitement. I simply can't wait.

2) I get to pack up and go back to Steubenville. My second home. My home away from home. A place that sometimes feels more like a home than my own home does. A place that I'd better be ready to get the hell out of by May when I graduate - because otherwise, I'm going to be heartbroken. I get to move into the house that I'm renting, and make it a cozy little home for a year...houseplants included.

3) I start my final year of nursing school. That's right. The externship I worked all summer has excited and energized me, and I'm looking forward to being a student extraordinaire...growing in wisdom, grace and knowledge. I can hardly wait to whip out the crisp new sheets of paper and hit them with my felt fine-tipped pens. And to my infinite joy, we have a class with Harris again. Praise God.

So, August offers me the promise of many good and pleasant things to come. July was great, but by no fault of it's own, it just wasn't August. And August will be great.

The gift unasked for

What makes a person want to die?

This feeling that everyone in your life would be better off without you - that there is nothing to look forward to, that you are too tired to go on, that life is cruel and exhausting, that there is no reason to continue to live - how do you come to this feeling, and then believe it, and finally invest in it, with aspirin and vodka, a razor, a gun to the head?

There are so many layers of self-preservation woven into the human fabric...and yet they are overridden by grief, distress, psychological disturbance, fear, despair...agents too potent at times for the weakened human condition.

What strikes me most, however, is how powerless I am in the face of the intensity of despair and depression felt by another. Preserved as I have been from these depths of suffering, I have no words to touch them, and my natural inclination to give advice is thwarted.

"Life is a gift". We did not ask for it, and yet here we are - manifestations of the mysterious creative energy of God. As such, we are keepers of a treasure not our own. I will show my love of God - by my love and care of what he has created: my life and the lives of others. Though it be laborious and excruciating, somehow He calls us to journey back to Him, bearing the life He gave us. For some, life is deep pain - and I can only imagine the courage and grace it takes them to face it, and the glory they give God in struggling through.

For those who take their lives into their own hands, Mother Church is yet a true Mother and intercessor for her children. "We should not despair of the eternal salvation of persons who have taken their own lives. By ways known to him alone, God can provide the opportunity for salutary repentance. The Church prays for persons who have taken their own lives." (CCC 2283)

Perhaps the question we should rather pose is this: What makes a person want to live.

St. Jude and St. Dymphna, pray for us.

Two heart caths and a book by it's cover

Got off work, where today I had the opportunity to observe two cardiac catheterizations. I was considering only observing one, but I'm so glad I stayed and watched two; the two cases were as different as night and day, just going to show you that something simple and routine can be very different the second time, because each patient is different.

The first patient was a man, mid forties, clearly a little jumpy, but in control of himself, nervously cracking jokes. He was a little spazzy and needed to be reminded to lie flat after the procedure (any lifting of the head or bending of the leg immediately afterward causes increased pressure in the groin, threatening to dislodge the collagen plug inserted into the femoral artery to block the hole made by the catheter) - but on the whole, he was great. His cath was negative, as well, meaning there were no occlusions or problematic narrowings of the coronary arteries. The answer to what's causing his intermittent chest pain must be sought elsewhere.

The second patient was a different story. Her family sat surrounding her in the preoperative room, and when we came to take her into the cath lab, she began loudly insisting "No! You're going to put me out, right? I don't want to leave this room conscious!" She was 79, one of those ladies who screams in protest if you so much as press on her firmly (feeling for her femoral pulse was a trip). She didn't want to see anything in the procedure room, so we covered her eyes with a towel. The doctor also had an unusually difficult time finding the artery with his needle, which he puts into the artery in order to place the guide wire, and then advance the catheter. He ended up needing to use what is called a "smart needle" - it uses doppler to give the physician an audible idea of where the needle is in relation to the rhythmic swooshing of blood through the artery, helping him locate it more easily. Even with the aid of the smart needle, the woman's vasculature was located so deep that he had to probe quite a bit. The complicating factor here, I believe, was that she was quite a bit overweight. The doppler made sounds like the doc was navigating a windswept, frozen mountain peak in Greenland or something. Anyway, eventually he got to where he was going. This patient's heart cath revealed a partially occluded right descending coronary artery.

It was a nice plus that I was with some OR nurses who really liked to teach, and were great about it. Especially Brice. At first impression, I was like, greeeaaat....this guy won't even make eye contact with me, I know I'm a lowly student, but you don't have to be such a stiff about it...lol my preceptor dubbed him "Mr. Evil Hottness" because he is really quite good-looking, and young. BUT, hooray, he ended up explaining like EVERYTHING about the heart cath to me of his own accord, and really involving me in what was going on. So it was sweet. The end.

Well, speaking of the moon...

So today, Rachel and I took Joseph and Peter to see Monsters vs. Aliens at the dollar theater (I love dollar theaters). They liked it well enough...I loved hearing them giggle during the film, usually when there was some kind of comic injury or other gag...it's just so adorable. We went out to eat afterwards, and then got ice cream at one of those great mom and pop homemade ice cream places. We sat outside the shop at a picnic table and enjoyed the warm evening air while savoring our confections...Rachel a strawberry sundae, myself a small vanilla cone, and the boys wielding great, mountainous medium vanilla cones. Two other families with little children were enjoying treats outside as well, and our conversation was light and everything pleasant pretty much! Now, the ice cream stand is located on a fairly busy two-lane country road, which I was seated facing. Three high school-age boys came, riding their bikes past lazily, laughing and talking to each other like they were just that cool, you know? I was idly licking my cone and observing them ride by. They were nearly past. The last fellow was standing up to pedal, and I noticed, well, that he had some crack going on above his oh-so-cool really baggy jeans and ineffectual belt. I laughed to myself and said half aloud, "Hey, that kid better be careful, or -- oh my GOSH, that kid's BUTT is totally hanging out!!"

Of course, everyone looks.... Peter and Joseph see their first public mooning (albeit accidental mooning, thank God).... what can I say, I was so surprised by my prediction coming true before my very eyes that I just announced it to the world without thinking.....yeeeeeahh.

But man, you shoulda been there to see how Pete and Joe cracked up. Sorry, boys.

Blame it on the moon...

This is my first post about my summer job. I am working as a nurse extern at a hospital; overall, I am learning a lot and getting good experience. So it's really kind of an inaccurate depiction of things that the first time I would write about it would be after an absolutely insane day.

For the first time I saw a man die. They called a code and were starting to pull out the code cart when his nurse was like "no, no, he's a DNR" - and his chart was checked, and indeed he was. A young woman just down the hall began to sob, loud and scared - she had just gone for some ice water or something down the hall, stepped out of his room for a minute, and he had coded while she was gone. His heart on the monitor was a confusion of jagged, irregular, tight spikes, and his face graying, jaw set, contorted as though with effort. The hall was filling with staff, responding to the overhead call. They were told the patient was DNR, would turn away with a look of sad resignation.

It is an odd feeling to look upon someone who is arresting, and to do nothing. To watch someone who is alive become someone who is not.

But it was best not to stand by in the hall idly gawking (which is how I felt...gawking) while the family stood, shocked and grieved, awkwardly in the hall, as though too terrified to go into the room. You know they hadn't thought it would be this soon. So I tried to move on to my other duties quickly.

A lot of other things happened...it was just a completely nuts day....one patient fell and got a bloody nose, as well as a nice laceration to the forehead. He went down for some diagnostic testing to see how badly he had been hurt; turns out he is fine, and just will have a black eye for awhile, as well as some steri-strips to approximate the wound on his forehead. Another patient accidentally pulled a jackson-pratt drain out of his bandaged foot. Then there were four or five patients over the course of the day whose IVs went bad, either because they had pulled them out, or they had begun infiltrating. One woman's IV came out almost inexplicably. She was a patient who required a sitter, and I was sitting beside her in a chair, when her hand began to drip copious amounts of blood. Her IV, swathed in curlex and tape to prevent her from pulling it out, had somehow dislodged. Seriously this woman was sitting perfectly still. The inordinate amount of bleeding was due to the fact that she was on heparin therapy for multiple blood clots in her legs. You have never seen blood leak out of someone so fast as a patient who is on heparin. It took ten minutes of pressure to her hand to stop the bleeding, while my preceptor established another IV.

But there really were some lovely patients today as well. As some of you may know, "my song" is Simon and Garfunkle's "Cecilia" - a catchy ditty totally sketch verses. A lot of people start singing it when they meet me (seriously). So anyway, some of these old-timers, the 85+ crowd, is doing the same thing - except with a different song. "Whispering" Jack Smith (ok?) had a minor hit in 1925 with a song called "Cecilia, Does Your Mother Know You're Out?" (rerecorded in the 60's by Tony Randall), and these old ladies sing it to me!

Does your mother know you're out? Cecilia,
Does she know I'm about to steal ya?
Oh my when I look into your eyes,
Something tells me You and I should get together
How's about a little kiss, Cecilia
Just a kiss you'll never miss, Cecilia
Why do we two keep on wasting time
Oh, Cecilia say that you'll be mine.

You've got to admit...much sweeter than Simon and Garfunkle's iffy sketch girl.

"Rather than for happiness, strive for peace"

I went to see a priest today, the weekend associate at my parish here at home. I had felt for awhile that I really wanted to talk to him for more than just the usual "hello" after Mass. He's a very intellectual man, incredibly well read, amazingly intelligent, very accomplished, while also being so accessible and just a genuinely good person. When he walked me into his office, I couldn't help but smile - it was perfect for him. Three ceiling-high bookcases lined the left wall, filled with spiritual reading and philosophical texts, as well as a few great literary works (I think I spied some Dostoyevsky). The room was impeccably neat - desk against the window wall, blinds open to let in the afternoon light, and a few pictures here and there, one of himself in his clerical garb holding a squirming, laughing baby. Three beautifully lush, green plants sat atop the third bookcase, spilling their trailing foliage down into the lower shelves. Coupled with the presence of this priest whom I admired and respected so much, it was the most calming and peaceful environment.

We talked for over an hour, and I really just let out whatever came to my mind. Sometimes just hearing myself talk helps me to figure out what's up with me or what I should do - and his wise interjections, wisdom, and third party perspective helped me tremendously. I came to the conclusion that I'm pretty impatient...and anxious that my own concupiscence will cause me to miss God's call for me. I want so much to really love Him, to not get caught up in the things that do not last, to return to Him His great love for me. And deep down I know the answers to all my worries. I really am a laid-back, roll with the punches kind of person - I just don't like uncertainties...where I'm supposed to go, what I'm supposed to do next. Ultimately I know these things will take care of themselves and that God's hand will be in it! But speaking with Father helped reassure and remind me once again of all that.

Here's a fun little fact that I found out from him. If you look at the San Damiano cross closely, you can see that Christ is depicted smiling - it is a little obscured by his moustache, but the corners of His mouth clearly curve up. Father showed me this on his cross when we were speaking about happiness and peace. "Rather than for happiness, strive for peace" - Christ was certainly suffering on the cross, and wasn't exactly what we would call 'happy' - but as Father said, if we could call a "time-out" on the crucifixion and ask Jesus if there was anywhere else He would rather be at that moment, he would say 'No' - because of his love for me. He would be at peace. Suffering and what we think of as 'happiness' may be incompatible, but suffering and peace are not.

Today, thank God for priests - say a quick prayer for them in their ministry to all of us.

Hi, Hi There

So a long time ago I had one of these things. (A long time in this case = about two years.)

A blog.

Remember xanga? Yeah! That was fun. And then happened this wonderful glowing revelation known as Facebook - thank you Mark - at which point many people seemed to become more interested in keeping in touch via little wall posts and stuff. I like fb a lot, but "notes" just aren't as homey as a blog, and well, i think it's time.